Tell Your Story
She and He Are Doing It: Earl and Suzanne de Berge Lead Their Dreams in Guatemala, Part II
Read MoreIn Part Two of this “She & He are Doing It” series, I spoke further with both Earl and Suzanne de Berge to learn more about the incredible work Seeds for the Future (Semillas para el Futuro) is doing in rural Guatemala and the challenges they face there.
She and He Are Doing It: Earl and Suzanne de Berge Lead Their Dreams in Guatemala, Part I
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Read MoreThis week’s “She’s Doing It” column features both a he and a she: a couple who have worked together throughout their adult lives in their Arizona-based business and now are devoting their skills to amazing community development work in rural Guatemala. First of a two-part series.
Suzanne and Earl de Berge founded the public opinion research firm Behavior Research Center in 1965, with Suzanne running the business end and Earl the research end. Politically independent, I met them when BRC began doing opinion research for Planned Parenthood in Arizona in the early 1980’s. They were usually correct in their recommendations, helping us win ballot initiatives and score some big wins in a tough political climate. Here’s Earl’s description of what they are doing now, why this is their dream, and how they are leading–not following–it.
She’s Doing It: Victoria Pynchon “She Negotiates” to Improve Dispute Resolution

Ever meet someone you instantly know is a force of nature and will be a great friend forever? I met Vickie Pynchon –attorney, mediator and arbitrator, partner in the She Negotiates Consulting and Training firm, prolific Forbes.com blogger, and author of A is for A**hole: the Grownups’ ABC’s of Conflict Resolution–during the worst icy snowstorm I’ve ever witnessed in New York City.
I’d blown off a chance to meet
Read MoreFriday Roundup: April Was Sexual Abuse Awareness Month but May Brings It Front and Center
I’ll get to Arnold Schwarzenegger later. For now it’s enough simply to observe that over the past few weeks, the world has been cracked open to reveal–and we hope come to revile–the sexual hubris that has enabled so many men to feel entitled to power over women’s bodies. I’ve made the “power over” versus “power to” distinction in No Excuses. What more direct way to rob women of their power to?
There are many kinds and facets of sexual abuse and assault. This week’s roundup is a sampling of recent news about some of those facets. Why do I feel hopeful? Because now there are names for this abuse of power. Because when you name it you can fight it. Because young women know it’s wrong and they aren’t going to take it any more. That’s what’s cracking the world open. It’s not just the way things are any more.
IMF Head Arrested for Sexual Assault: What Happened, What it Means.
Military Veteran Opens Up About 1970s Sexual Assault.
Wear jeans for more than comfort.
Peace Corps-50 years, more than 1,000 rapes?
And let me end with a particularly heartwarming success story from Hollaback, an organization that fights street harassment around the world:
Back to Arnold…Nah, I’d really rather think about Maria Shriver, his wife.
Read MoreDanica Davidson Explains How Writing Chose Her
We’ve talked about the power of our stories. Danica Davidson. shares her writing aspirations here. She’s gutsy to “wear the shirt” [link to a wts post] of her writing aspirations, and I’ll bet that’s why you’ll likely see her books on the shelf soon.
Danica is a professional freelance writer who is now actively seeking to publish a YA novel. She has been interviewed by the Los Angeles Times and featured on the Guide to Literary Agents about her novel-writing. She has also adapted Japanese books into English. Please check out her website www.danicadavidson.com or follow her on Twitter @DanicaDavidson.
I’ve been telling stories as far back as I can remember. Even as a young child, I knew I wanted to be a writer. When I was in first grade I was habitually writing picture-books (which I also illustrated) and in second grade I made my first attempt to write a novel. By the time I was in middle school, I was writing novels regularly. This just came naturally to me, and I couldn’t imagine a life without writing. From the beginning I’ve wanted to share my stories, so I’ve never been one to write and hide my creations. I’ve had a drive to share them and to be a professional writer.
Even at age eleven I would go to writers’ meetings carrying my writing and trying to show them to adults. Not many of the adults took me seriously because of my age, but I could tell a few were impressed. Nothing came of it professionally, though. I began bringing my novels into school and sharing them with friends, who then passed them on to more readers. These readers also passed them on and soon I had a school fanbase, which was a flattering, honoring and wonderful thing. Around this time the Los Angeles Times covered me as an up-and-coming author.
I thought it would all come together for me then, but it didn’t. There was a family tragedy and my life changed. I had to work three part-time jobs while studying on my own to get my high school diploma. I worked at a feed store, I worked at a daycare, and I did reporting for the local newspaper. The newspaper reporting was somewhere along the lines of what I wanted to do, but the other two jobs were because they were what I could get and I needed the money. I was very much aware that many of my friends were goofing off and partying through their senior year as I struggled through low-paying jobs to make an income. I was in a very different world from most people my age, though I’ve also come to learn that too many other teenagers have to face the same reality. We don’t always get a chance to enjoy our childhoods.
I wrote when I had time, but so often it had to get pushed aside for more immediate needs. I began sending articles to magazines in hopes I could build up a résumé there and this would help me get my novels published.
Read MoreStories Heal, Stories Connect, Stories Matter
Your heartfelt responses to Amy Ferris’s extraordinary post “I Matter” tell me I’m not alone in being moved by it. Amy’s plunge into the coldest, deepest wells of pain–her courage to swim around in those emotionally drenching experiences, then emerge to share them– and at the same time to share her liberation from the most debilitating parts of her story.
All compelling stories require an antagonist as well as a protagonist, it’s tempting to see Amy’s mother as the villain of the piece. But I’ve also been thinking about something my friend Angela (not her real name, pending permission) said to me one day last February, as we were power walking along the canal near my Scottsdale home. Basking in the desert’s relative winter warmth, I was delighted that Angela had found two days to pop over for a visit after a board meeting in California. Her distinguished career includes having led important nonprofit and governmental organizations in two countries; now she serves on 10 prestigious international boards.
Read MoreAmy's Story: How I Learned I Matter
Sit down. Pour yourself a cup of tea and know that you are going to need some time to read author Amy Ferris’s story slowly and carefully. It will sear you. It will uplift you. I encourage you to write your thoughts about it here too. Thank you, Amy for sharing it.
First, here’s the cover note Amy sent to me, inviting me to post it so all of you could read it too, then her essay in full:
Read Moregloria:
i wrote this essay about a week, week and half ago, on the advice of my amazing therapist. i have been dealing with such deep shame, deep doubt… and she helped me pull this up and out. and on the page.
righting my life. or … writing my life. as the case may be.
i’ve sent it to 3 people for both a reaction and their advice where to place it/put it. three amazing writer friends – two who are survivors, and one who just came out. they were – without sounding too bloated – absolutely amazed by this essay. they were so taken aback by my truth, my story… this piece.
i wanted to send it to you, after seeing on your blog that you are asking for stories.
this is my story.
it’s very painful.
it’s very raw.
it’s very liberating.
i am so fucking proud to have been able to write it, say it, share it, give it, open up an heart or two. make a difference.
i hope it saves many, many lives.
and i hope, deeply, more than anything, that my story gives women courage to stand in their truth, to tell their story … and that they too realize that their lives matter oh so much.
Shay’s Story: Struggling to Be Taken Seriously at Work
It’s been quiet here with the holidays taking people’s attention. And I’d just about run out of 9 Ways stories to tell. Then in the “what you need is there if you can see it” mode, Shay Pausa’s story landed in my inbox. Shay has a video production company, ChiKiiTV, and in full disclosure is currently making a new speaking reel for me. Trust me, if you have video production needs, hire her. She wrote to share how her experiences and feelings as a woman in the workforce matched my findings in No Excuses. Here’s Shay’s story:
Truthfully, I’ve never thought of myself as a feminist yet as I read your book and watch your presentations, I know that I am and always have been. I struggled from the time I entered the business world at 17 years old to be taken as seriously as my male co-workers. I made attempts to be unattractive so that my superiors would see that I was a smart, assertive hard worker. I was passed over for promotions and opportunities repeatedly. I was even once was told by the hiring manager that though I was the heir apparent, the executive team could not “picture” me in the job. They hired a man with 5 years less experience from outside the company. But I did not give up and I stayed at that company until I got the promotions. At a certain point, I brought up my concern that I was not being given deserved promotions based on my sex and age. I got the next one. What they feared even more than a smart woman who can call a spade a spade was a lawsuit.
Read MorePower Tool #9: Tell Your Story
“Stories are medicine for our false isolation. A way to forge connection and community and help shift our course . . . the seed forms of culture we carry around within us.” ~Nina Simons, founder of Bioneers
Your story is your power and your truth.
My friend, the master storyteller and storytelling teacher Laura Simms, sees stories as a path to healing oneself and the world. Harriet Beecher Stowe’s 1852 novel, Uncle Tom’s Cabin, told a story that changed how Americans thought about slavery and intensified support for abolition. It became the second best-selling book of the Nineteenth Century, behind only the Bible, itself a collection of stories.
In fact, throughout the writing of No Excuses and on the 9 Ways Blog, I’ve been most inspired by the stories of women, and men. They have moved me, mentored me, and taught me. I hopes their stories do the same for you when you read them.
Read MoreWear the Shirt Contest Winner!
Shannon Drury of The Radical Housewife is the lucky winner of my Wear the Shirt contest. Thanks to my stellar team of interns, Gabrielle Korn and Dior Vargas for making the selection, because I love all of the photos. But I guess the rule that one should never try to compete against a small child still holds, and Shannon’s exuberant daughter Miriam in her shirt proclaiming “Feminism runs in our family” won the day.
Shannon is a writer, an at-home parent, and a community activist who has been blogging about parenthood and politics since 2006. She is a prime example of Power Tool #8: Employ Every Medium. The accessibility of blogging and social media has truly changed the political landscape by making it possible for everyone to speak at the same decibel level. Shannon writes about gender, politics, and parenting, among other topics. I’ll be sending a set of my four signed books to Shannon, and maybe Miriam will read them, too, in a few years.
Thank you to everyone who participated in the contest. You can view the complete slide show of all the entries here.
And by the way, though this contest is over, don’t hesitate to send me more photos of you in shirts that proclaim your convictions. I’ll keep posting them and I am sure readers of this blog will keep enjoying them. Most important, keep wearing them!
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