Politics
McCAIN MISSED THE MEMO: IT’S NO LONGER OK TO OBJECTIFY WOMEN, EVEN YOUR WIFE
When I was an adolescent growing up in wild West Texas back in the Stone Age 1950’s, I matured early, as they used to say. It wasn’t unusual for the boys to make public jokes about my physique. All in good humor of course. They probably thought it was a compliment. Commentary about breast size, what was under your skirt, or how you might fare in a wet t-shirt contest was just the way things were: that era’s version of cowboy chic. A woman had to grin and bear it if a man objectified her this way or she’d risk losing her friends, her job, her popularity at school. The term “sexual harassment” hadn’t been coined, let alone become the subject of laws to prevent the various abusive behaviors that fall into its rubric.
But, thanks to the courageous action of women and men who had the good sense to recognize such abuse of power for what it is, there are laws now to protect people from that kind of humiliation.
Laws that apparently don’t faze one man running for president of the United States. John McCain’s disrespect for women was captured by this video. I was in pain watching Cindy McCain. She looked like she’d swallowed a lemon when at a South Dakota biker rally, Senator(!) McCain suggested that Cindy enter the notoriously raunchy and frequently topless Miss Buffalo Chip contest. Instead of swallowing and laughing like I did in my pre-consciousness-raised youth, she should have called him on it and walked off the stage. I’ll bet she would have been cheered.
Read MoreBite Your Tongue When It Comes to Politics? Hmmm.
Are you in the same boat?
My friend Ruth Nemzoff, Resident Scholar at Brandeis University Women’s Studies, has written a new book that totally resonates with me as a parent and/or step-parent of six adult children, five of whom have spouses (one an almost ex-spouse, further complicating things) as well. The book is called Don’t Bite your Tongue: How to Foster Rewarding Relationships with Your Adult Children. Great title, isn’t it?
Here’s just one of the helpful tidbits in the book, as summarized by Ruth, and believe it or not, it relates directly to Heartfeldt Politics:
Read MoreIt is summer and many families are vacationing together. The Republican and Democratic conventions are about to begin. But families aren’t talking politics. No, politics is often off limits. It is not a “safe” topic like the weather or the latest tennis match. It could lead to disagreements, and no one wants the unpleasantness of a fight. But when families don’t talk politics, they miss an opportunity to learn about each others’ lives and understand the other’s point of view. Instead, adult children wonder how their parents could hold such Neanderthal views. Liberal parents wonder how they raised such conservative children, or vice versa. No one really connects. Part of the problem is vocabulary. One generation’s description is another generation’s slur. We would all benefit from ignoring vocabulary and instead probe for on the hopes and experiences behind the words.
Many of us avoid politics because we fear conflagrations. However, but if we are to create close relationships we families often need to talk about difficult topics without flaring up. Listening with interest can help; so can asking questions. If we in families can’t talk about what matters to us, how can we as a nation?
THE BIGGER THEY ARE THE HARDER THEY FALL (and vice versa)
When I was four or five, my daddy took me to the Golden Gloves amateur boxing finals in our small hometown of Temple, Texas. The crowd let out a mighty roar as the two boxers came out into the ring and raised their arms in that cocky “I’m the man” stance. One contestant, dressed in white trunks and shirt looked significantly larger than the other more muscular man who was wearing red and black if my memory serves.
As both men surveyed the crowd while doing their pre-bout strut around the ring, I pointed to the man in white and said to Daddy, “That big one is going to win.”
My father stopped cheering, looked me square in the eyes, and said to me, “Dodie (his pet name for me), the bigger they are, the harder they fall.”
Daddy’s admonition has come back to me so many times over, none more so than watching Eliot Spitzer resign from his post as governor of New York today in the whorl of a sex and illegal prostitution-procurement scandal.
Read MoreWhat Was Eliot Thinking? Part 2
Even Nora Ephron couldn’t make it funny. The comments on my Huffington Post version of the Heartfeldt post “What was Eliot Thinking?” were more thoughtful than the smart-ass or angry replies I usually get. They divide into three categories: “legalize prostitution”, “yes men’s brains are in their pants, so what were you thinking, Gloria?”, and “despite the fact that men’s brains are in their pants, some of them can still resist infidelity.” A few touch on the illegality and hypocrisy aspects of the case.
There’s been lots of chatter but not nearly the amount of joking that, say, Sen. Wide-Stance Craig got after his toe-tapping incident. PunditMom said simply and clearly what I absolutely think must happen: resign.
Read MoreWhat Was Eliot Thinking?
Sick to my stomach. That’s my initial reaction to the breaking story of Eliot Spitzer’s admission that he has been involved with a prostitution ring.
What was he thinking? What is is that makes men in high profile political positions think they can get away with this kind of thing, even after Bill and Monica, even after Larry Craig’s toe tapping, even after…well, you can fill in the blanks. There are too many dozens of names and sex scandals to recount here.
It is the rush of power that makes these guys think they are invincible? Testosterone run amuck? Is the answer in the old joke about where men’s brains are? And is there a correlation between amount of crusading for other people’s morality a politician does and the likelihood that he will fall into illicit or immoral behavior patterns himself?
You tell me. This time I am completely speechless.
Read MoreHeadline as Haiku
The headline summed it up so accurately it made my teeth hurt: “Republican Unity Trumps Democratic Momentum.”
Robert Pear and Carl Hulse wrote the article that sums up Congressional Democrats’ 2007 accomplishments, or lack of them, in the New York Times, December 21. But whoever wrote that headline gets my vote for the Pulitzer. In fewer syllables than a classic haiku, he or she described perfectly the essence of American politics since the extreme right has held sway over the Republican Party.
The Democrats might have better ideas and public opinion on their side right now, but the Republicans–even when they’re in the minority—still run strategic circles around them.
Read MoreRudy and the Hooker Principle
With some politicians, there’s not a question what they are; it’s just a matter of negotiating the price. In accepting Pat Robertson’s endorsement this week, Rudy Giuliani would have been advised by one the wisest and wittiest of my college professors, the late Bob Rothstein, to apply what he called “the hooker principle”: first, get paid.
Even John McCain, who was at the exact same moment assuming the position in order to snag the endorsement of the more dangerous but less flamboyant Sen. Sam Brownback and establish his own creds with the hard rightwing, extreme anti-choice, anti-gay Republican base, was rendered speechless at the news about the unholy alliance between Robertson and Giuliani. For bald face political two-step, Giuliani has out danced them all.
Read MoreThe First Ever SWIA Award
I am mentioned 10 times—more than even Jane Fonda or Betty Friedan–by the anti-feminist Kate O’Beirne in her book Women Who Make the World Worse: and How Their Radical Feminist Assault Is Ruining Our Schools, Families, Military, and Sports, which was endorsed–surprise–by Peggy Noonan, Rush Limbaugh, and Laura Ingraham, This must mean I am doing something right. With those credentials as well as being an afficionada of Keith Olberman’s nightly “Worst Person in the World” shtick, I have decided to start my own award for the stupidest women in America (SWIAA ™).
O’Beirne, has the hubris necessary to claim the right to worldwide judgment. Humble person that I am, I’m planning to highlight only the stupidest women in America. And because as everyone knows I am inherently biased toward liberals, I’ll let Olberman slide this time.
My first SWIAA™ award goes hands down to Harriet Miers. Miers, the former White House Counsel who was George W. Bush’s obviously underqualified and clearly doomed token female nominee for U. S. Supreme Court who was quickly withdrawn so he could pick the white male Justice he really wanted. She continues to stand by her man with her mouth clamped shut while Congress slaps her around.
Read MoreSo the Hammer Finally Nailed Himself
So the Hammer finally nailed himself.
I am so disappointed. It would have been much more fun to defeat Tom DeLay fair and square at the ballot box in November.
I was prepared to walk door-to-door in the district (my son, daughter-in-law, and two grandsons who deserve better representation live there). A stunning election defeat for Tom DeLay would show other zealous right-wing politicians that the majority of Americans–when you can get their attention away from trying to make a living and taking care of their families–really are in favor of basic democratic principles and–dare I say–ethical government. They really do believe in liberty and justice for all, in freedom of religion and speech, and in respecting the fundamental rights of others. They want to live and let live, not by the hammer but by common decency and fairness. Many of them were outraged when he violated the medical privacy of Terry Schiavo’s family who were faced with heartrending decisions. Others were shocked by his probable brush with corruption in his dealings with lobbyists. Everyone should be furious about how his long arm reached from Congress into the state redistricting process and defeated those with whom he disagreed, not at the ballot box but in the backrooms.
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