She’s Doing It: Victoria Pynchon “She Negotiates” to Improve Dispute Resolution


Ever meet someone you instantly know is a force of nature and will be a great friend forever? I met Vickie Pynchon –attorney, mediator and arbitrator, partner in the She Negotiates Consulting and Training firm, prolific Forbes.com blogger, and author of A is for A**hole: the Grownups’ ABC’s of Conflict Resolution–during the worst icy snowstorm I’ve ever witnessed in New York City.

I’d blown off a chance to meet

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Leadership Video: Is this dance a movement or mob?

[Click title to see the nutty dancing video–Wordpress wonky editor won’t show it in the excerpt]

I love the virtual universe. In the blink of a mouse you can connect with a wide range of people who share your narrow set of interests. Social media Big Names like Seth Godin call this “finding your tribe.”

Tahrir Square…

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One Way Women Should Not Change How We Think About Power

[caption id="attachment_4273" align="alignright" width="300" caption="young anthony weiner"][/caption]

Had you noticed? Today is the 51st anniversary of the U. S. Supreme Court Griswold v Connecticut decision legalizing birth control for married couples under the Constitutional principle of a right to privacy. Nah, probably not.

Figure the odds that anyone is going to pay an iota of attention today to the Griswold anniversary or the new poll that also found voters angry about the Republicans’ attempts to defund Title X family planning services for low income women. Not when they have Weinergate. Talk about someone who has not just lost but thrown away his privacy!

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Friday Roundup: Will Women Leaders Carpe the Chaos?

Earlier this week, I came across an article titled “Why ‘Female’ Skills Are Worth More.”

This week’s roundup reflects the news that in the current financial chaos, with a little help sex scandals here and there, women are taking important leading roles in journalism, finance, and government. It’s a really big deal that the New York Times has its first female executive editor–check out these takes on Jill Abramson’s appointment:

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ANNOUNCING She's Doing It: 9 Ways Highlights You

Today I begin a new series on the 9 Ways Blog, “She’s Doing It.”

As I’ve traveled the country talking with people at bookstores and speaking events, and as I’ve heard from hundreds of you via social media and e-mail, I sense a movement on the rise.

This week’s woman who makes no excuses is Linda Brodsky M. D. because she’s Expediting the Inevitable.

[vimeo]http://vimeo.com/21809836[/vimeo]

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Friday Roundup: Splitting the World Open

In the newsletter I sent out this past week, I began with this quote from the late feminist poet, Muriel Rukeyser:

“What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life? The world would split open.”

This week’s Roundup links to a selection of articles, each of which represents a way that women are using their “power to” by simply telling the truth, which is so often the most difficult thing of all. And we are seeing the world split open as these women challenge millennia of gender-based oppression rooted in sexual abuse, assault, harassment, and even verbal disparagement of women. Check them out and share your thoughts. I’m especially interested to know whether you feel as I do that despite the pain of seeing and knowing these horrific acts, the fact that they are coming out in the open–the truth-telling–is splitting the world open in ways that ultimately are positive.

Statement/petition from Change.org to unite people around the world in support of the alleged rape victim of Dominique Strauss-Kahn. Sign on!

French feminists could care less that Strauss-Kahn is a fellow countryman, and are protesting his actions, loud enough for the entire world to hear. Please check out the great protest pictures in this Gotham article.

Join the Nobel Women’s Initiative today by going to the UN Action Stop Rape Now website and download the sample letter asking your elected official for increased action against sexual violence in conflict.

For more information on rape as a weapon of war, please read this great article by NYC writer Anna Louie Sussman.

The response of the Women’s Media Center and many feminists around the country to Ed Shultz and his sexist remarks is right on the money: men have no right to use sexist language to keep women in their place, regardless of their political affiliation.

 

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Nobel Laureates Fight Sexual Assualt

My grandmother used to say: “The rich suffer too but they suffer in comfort.”

Apparently for the wealthy deposed IMF chief, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, suffering in comfort won’t come easy. He has been denied the right to live in one comfortable NY apartment after another as a consequence of his alleged sexual assault upon a hotel maid.

Without making judgments about “DSK” who will soon enough have his day(s) in court, I take this shunning as a positive sign that the world is awakening to the dirty big secret of sexual abuse, which is almost always perpetrated by men against women they perceive as less powerful than themselves.

As further proof of this awakening, this week, Nobel Peace Laureates Jody Williams, Shirin Ebadi, and Mairead Maguire are leading a conference to addresses sexual violence in conflict regions at the Nobel Women’s Initiative Conference. The conference is entitled Women Forging a New Security: Ending Sexual Violence in Conflict and includes over 120 leaders from around the world.

The highlight of the conference will be Thursday’s online day of action, which will seek to target governments and pressure them to give sexual violence the attention it deserves. The link provides several ways for women around the world to participate, and I would love to hear if any of you, Heartfeldt readers, take part.

I’m hoping that in light of the many kinds of sexual abuse, harassment, and just plain bad behavior that has dominated the media in the last few weeks, these influential Nobel Laureates will address a broader range of abuse issues than those that occur in areas of conflict, and will use their platform to connect the dots among the various ways sexual violence and harassment are used to maintain gender inequality.

You can also follow each day of this important event by following Feministe writer and author of Yes Means Yes, Jaclyn Friedman, as she live blogs about the event.

No one, rich or poor, should have to suffer the pain and indignity of sexual abuse.

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Sex, Power, Irony, and Why Maria Shriver Will Be Back

Former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has put all his movie projects on hold, including one called “Cry Macho.”

Oh the irony of that title. Let me get him a hanky so Mr. Macho himself doesn’t douse those phallic cigars he puffs on with his tears.

There’s also a yummy irony in the fact that the woman who brought down this powerful man is near the bottom rung of social power, a household worker. Sexual hubris and belief in their own entitlement to whatever they want whenever they want it, including women’s bodies…Are these men like babies who think people can’t see them when they have blankets over their heads?

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Friday Roundup: April Was Sexual Abuse Awareness Month but May Brings It Front and Center

I’ll get to Arnold Schwarzenegger later. For now it’s enough simply to observe that over the past few weeks, the world has been cracked open to reveal–and we hope come to revile–the sexual hubris that has enabled so many men to feel entitled to power over women’s bodies. I’ve made the “power over” versus “power to” distinction in No Excuses. What more direct way to rob women of their power to?

There are many kinds and facets of sexual abuse and assault. This week’s roundup is a sampling of recent news about some of those facets. Why do I feel hopeful? Because now there are names for this abuse of power. Because when you name it you can fight it. Because young women know it’s wrong and they aren’t going to take it any more. That’s what’s cracking the world open. It’s not just the way things are any more.

IMF Head Arrested for Sexual Assault: What Happened, What it Means.

Military Veteran Opens Up About 1970s Sexual Assault.

Rape isn’t a “sex scandal.”

Wear jeans for more than comfort.

Peace Corps-50 years, more than 1,000 rapes?

And let me end with a particularly heartwarming success story from Hollaback, an organization that fights street harassment around the world:

We’ve Got Your Back

Back to Arnold…Nah, I’d really rather think about Maria Shriver, his wife.

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Kate Swift Obit: The Language of Power and the Power of Language

Have you ever heard of Barbara Peabody Smith, who went by her nickname Kate? I hadn’t until I read her obituary last week. Her story is an inspiring reminder of how we can define our own terms. Defining terms by making language nonsexist changes everything–how people think and therefore how people act. Little wonder that this daughter of journalists understood the power of language. But what was groundbreaking about Smith’s life work is that she translated her understanding into the language of political power to secure gender equality laws in her home state.

Guest post by Rosalie Maggio reprinted with permission of the Women’s Media Center.

Award winning author and creator of WMC’s “Hot Button Words” series Rosalie Maggio recalls the journalist and activist who alerted the modern women’s movement to the dangers of sexist language.

Nonsexist-language pioneer Kate Swift, 87, died early Saturday morning after a brief encounter with abdominal cancer. Her generous legacy to the world includes her revolutionary influence on our language as well as her productive activism (she helped effect Connecticut’s marriage equality act, protect prochoice legislation, promote progressive candidates, protest the war on Iraq, and conserve the environment). She also leaves numerous admirers who all somehow numbered themselves among her closest and best friends.

Barbara Peabody Swift, always known as Kate, was born in 1923 to parents who were newspaper and magazine journalists, and she obtained her own journalism degree from the University of North Carolina in 1944. Thereafter, she worked as a newswriter, science writer for the Museum of Natural History, editor for the Army’s information and education department, public relations officer for the Girl Scouts of America, press liaison for the Hayden Planetarium, and, in 1965, director of the news bureau of the school of medicine at Yale.

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