Flourish Over 50: Gloria and Susan Tolles Talk Texas Pasts and Flourishing Futures
Mitt Romney recently described contraception coverage and abortion rights as “shiny objects” used by Democrats to distract voters from “more important” issues. At a moment in which women’s reproductive rights are being dismissed by America’s Republican presidential hopeful, it is important for us to know our history! For me, the advent of the birth control pill accompanied a defining moment in which I realized my “power to.”
I discuss my life journey—from Texas to working with Kathleen Turner on a memoir to why 2012 may finally again be the year of the woman—with writer Susan Tolles for this interview. The article originally appeared on Susan’s website Flourish Over 50.
SUSAN TOLLES: Welcome to Flourish Over 50. I’m just so excited that you’re here, and I want to talk about your lifelong passion for really empowering women.
GLORIA FELDT: I first had to empower myself. I didn’t start out knowing much about this power stuff. I grew up in small towns in Texas in the 1940-50s, where girls were not encouraged to get an education, have a career, or have real aspirations for themselves. I mean, my family actually did expect me to get educated, but only in order to be a better mother, a better mate, etc. So I really didn’t start out thinking that I had power and agency myself; I grew thinking that the agency was outside of myself. I had to learn by trial-and-error along the way, and I am still learning it.
SUSAN TOLLES: Right, we all are. It’s always a work in progress.
GLORIA FELDT: It is a work in progress. So I’ll give you the real quick rundown of what happened: I was a teen mom; I got pregnant, married my high school sweetheart when I was 15. I had three children, bing-bing-bing, and then I was 20 years old. I think it was the combination of maturity and the advent of the birth control pill where I just woke up. That was one defining moment.
I realized two things: Firstly, I had three children, and although I had a husband who was earning a salary, I kept thinking, “What if I have to support these children?” I had no employable skills whatsoever. Secondly, I was starting to get a little bored and I realized that this life was not as much fun as I thought it was going to be. I, in fact, had a brain and I was eager to go to school.
And so, I finished high school by correspondence, and then the birth control pill came along. It was that defining moment that allowed me to see that I could create a life for myself. I could plan. If I wanted to have more children, I could have them by my own choice at whatever time I wanted to. But if I didn’t want to have more, then I had that option, and it meant I could go to college. I would say that was the first big defining moment for me. There were a series of other moments.
So I often ask people when I speak, “When did you know you had the power to _______?”
SUSAN TOLLES: Hmm, great question.
Read MoreShe's Doing It: Chicke Fitzgerald Has Solutionz
One of the best things about writing a book about women’s relationship with power is that I get to talk with so many interesting people about it. And since it seems that everyone is using my No Excuses Power Tool #8 – “Employ Every Medium” – by being the media these days, I have the opportunity to appear on many web-based radio shows, emanating from anywhere, and available for listening, often along with an accompanying blog post, at any time of the day or night. Media that simply could not have existed in years past.
One example of that trend is an interview I did with Chicke Fitzgerald, founder of the business development consulting firm Solutionz and the Executive Girlfriends’ Group (EGG).
EGG is a platform for executive women (both corporate and entrepreneurial). And it’s a ‘real world’ connection, not an electronic one, hosting a by invitation only conference call weekly, on Fridays from 4pm ET to 5:30pm ET. The website provides support to the group and allows the members to connect one on one, ask and answer questions, and to benefit from one another’s expertise.
I caught up with Chicke for our interview on her cell phone.
Read MoreA constitutional amendment to reverse Citizens United?
Wish I’d had more time to write about all the ways Citizens United is not about free speech. Maybe you can help me out here with your comments?
Politico Arena asks:
Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif.) has introduced a constitutional amendment aimed at overturning the Supreme Court’s 2010 Citizens United decision on campaign finance. The amendment would also overturn a Supreme Court decision that struck down an Arizona law that allowed public financing of a candidate if their opponent exceeded certain spending limits.
Is this a good idea? Or would it be the first constitutional amendment since the 18th, allowing for prohibition of alcohol, which would restrict freedoms and liberties rather than enhance them – in this case free speech?
My Response:
Read MoreClaudia Chan's Vision: Number One Leadership Attribute
Last summer just about this time, I received an e-mail out of the blue asking me to be interviewed by someone I’d never heard of for a women’s lifestyle website that hadn’t yet been created.
And by the way, would I have lunch with Claudia Chan—who described herself as a women’s lifestyle expert and entrepreneur and former co-owner of a Shecky’s Girlfriend events company I’d never heard of—to learn more about this chimera?
How could I refuse after I read Claudia’s vision, included in the e-mail?
By profiling influential women and sharing their experiences and advice, my mission is to ignite today’s generation of women to thrive both personally and professionally by creating mission-driven lives they love—as well as inspire their necessary participation in, or contribution to the global advancement of women and girls. There are so many amazing causes, nonprofits & companies doing great work for women (domestic and abroad) so we’re targeting many interviewees with these affiliations & passions. They set the example for our next generation that women must help women.
I was hooked.
Read MoreShe’s Done It for 40 Years: Ms. Magazine Honored for Auspicious Anniversary
When did you first see Ms. Magazine?
I can’t recall exactly the first time I saw it, but I do remember subscribing to it soon after it launched in 1972. I lived in Odessa TX, not exactly the bastion of feminism. But within the pages of Ms., I found women from all over the country saying what I’d been thinking. And I realized I wasn’t alone in feeling that something was terribly unfair about the way women were treated in society.
I also learned about the National Organization for Women from Ms. I joined as an at-large member and located the other five or six at-large members within a 100-mile radius.
Read MoreWomen's Leadership Fund of Orange and Duchess Counties
Keynote Speaking Event
Women’s Leadership Fund of Orange and Duchess Counties
I presented a No Excuses keynote speech during the luncheon to hundreds of business women and men.
June 12, 2012 – Women’s Leadership Fund of Orange and Duchess Counties in New York. Luncheon event sponsored by Chambers of Commerce and other groups. Held at Anthony’s Pier 9, New Windsor, NY.
(Click here to read event details)
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Watch for Rovian Tactics
It must have been a slow news day for Arena, but I thought this question was worth answering. Of course, both campaigns will be watching each other like hawks, hoping for gaffes to drop and then making much of them. But you have to admit Karl Rove is the grandmaster of whipping up attacks, whether the information transmitted is true or not.
Could we have a conversation about how to engage voters so they don’t a) get sidetracked from the big issues or b) become cynical and tune out all the noise?
Politico Arena asks: 
The Karl Rove-founded Republican group American Crossroads has issued an apology today just hours after suggesting in a tweet that Commerce Secretary John Bryson was drunk when he got into a car accident this weekend.
“How does @CommerceSec have 3 car crashes in 5 minutes and alcohol NOT be involved? ?#Skills,” the group tweeted early this morning.
“Earlier Bryson tweet with hashtag ?#skills? attempted levity (before facts known) and failed miserably. We took it down and regret the tweet,” the group said on Twitter shortly after 10 a.m.
Were critics of President Obama too hasty in their judgment of Bryson’s accident? What lessons does this incident offer about Twitter?
My Response:
Read MoreTips on Boosting Women's Wages
I’m looking forward to speaking tomorrow to the Orange County (NY) Chamber of Commerce Women in Business lunch. I never know which of the No Excuses Power Tools I’ll include in my presentation till I get there. But I always know there will be a lively conversation when I have the privilege of sharing ideas and tips with hundreds of women in business.
Most people would not pass up $500,000.
But many women do exactly that when they start their careers, said Gloria Feldt, an author and former Planned Parenthood CEO. Feldt is speaking at the Orange County Chamber of Commerce’s Women in Business lunch June 12.
Women leave a significant chunk of change on the table by not negotiating as aggressively for their salaries as men do in their entry level job, Feldt said. Being shortchanged from the get-go adds up over time and might mean a smaller retirement nest egg or less Social Security, Feldt said.
(Click here to read the full article)
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Does Walker’s victory put Wisconsin in play for the GOP?
Pundits will be talking all day about the meaning of the failed Wisconsin recall election.
The bright spot is that the recall process has forced Walker to moderate his language if not his actions and if the numbers hold out, he will be faced with a Democratic majority in the state senate to slow down his union-busting, tea-party sponsored initiatives.
But I see an ominous cloud of Obama’s making for the national elections in November. Will he learn from this that it does no good to try to deflect controversy from yourself and let other people take the fall?
Politico Arena Asks:
Incumbent Republican Gov. Scott Walker has survived the gubernatorial recall election against Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett, the Associated Press reports. The victory comes after Walker divided Wisconsin by making changes to state laws governing collective bargaining for public employees. Though Obama won the state by 13 points in 2008, presumptive GOP nominee Mitt Romney is expected to be more competitive in the state this fall.
Does this victory put Wisconsin in play for the GOP in 2012?
My Response:
Read MoreShe's Doing It: Jane Fonda Rocks the Power of Grandmothers at Women's Media Center Event
“Making women visible and powerful in the media,” the mission of the nonprofit New york and D.C. based Women’s Media Center http://www.womensmediacenter.com/, was on full display Monday night June 4. The evening’s centerpiece was the premiere of “Peace, Love, and Misunderstanding,” starring the incomparable Jane Fonda as a marijuana-growing and selling, tie-dye-wearing, sexuality-embracing, moon-howling grandmother who never left the 1960’s.
[caption id="attachment_8298" align="alignnone" width="400" caption="The incomparable gossip columnist Liz Smith"]