What Are the Rhythms of A Woman's Life?
Suzanne McQueen
This is Women’s Health Week. I’ll be posting about this on all my blogs during the week, starting with this guest post by Suzanne Mathis McQueen. Suzanne has been a lifelong women’s advocate as well as an entrepreneur in the salon/spa industry, working with thousands of women individually as employer, associate, mentor, business leader, instructor, and hairdresser (aka confidante), for nearly 30 yrs. She is currently writing a book on the natural monthly rhythm of women, basically re-writing society’s version of the female cycle, called Four Seasons in Four Weeks: the new female experience. She lives in Ashland, Oregon with her 14-yr. old daughter, Myan (who was born on International Women’s Day and will also begin blogging, any day now, for teens on the website). I appreciate her sharing this post called “Your Natural Monthly Rhythm”:
When it comes to “periods” Mother Nature doesn’t care whether you’re black, white, purple, or polka-dotted, Republican or Democrat, Buddhist or Atheist, straight or gay, as long as you’re a human female and somewhere between the ages of 8 and 55-ish. Minus pregnancies, nursing, hysterectomies, or some unusual health challenge, women cycle day in and day out for approximately 40 years of their lives. Yet this basic premise of what makes me female is an uncomfortable, if not taboo, subject. Due to lack of information, embarrassment, or violence against them, women worldwide often suffer in silence from its sometimes chaotic effects, which influence their lives in every way – including parenting, friendships, and their sexual relationship.
As an employer, instructor, longtime mentor and women’s advocate, I continue to observe that young women don’t feel well on a consistent basis. The majority of women I talk to say their monthly cycles disrupt their lives in some large or small way, yet they don’t know how to tame the lion. I see most women going 24/7 no matter what is happening with them personally. Often they are quietly dealing with heavy bleeding, on-going fatigue, extreme breast tenderness, or headaches while working and taking care of the family. It would help a lot if their guy could understand.
It became apparent to me about 12 yrs ago when tracking my own cycle, that as humans, it is vital we begin to understand the female cycle as a holistic health tool, rather than a week of PMS to make crude and even accusatory remarks about.
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The monthly cycle is what makes us female and thereby it’s our power source. In its most realized and beautiful form, when we are in touch, we are at our healthiest in body, mind, and spirit. Throughout history and for numerous reasons this power slowly vanished and the female cycle became a private and unspeakable thing in society. To this day women feel dishonored and have lost touch with their rhythm altogether for the most part. We’ve forgotten, or refuse to recognize, that our monthly hormones go through proven lows and highs, and that each week affects the next. It is my personal experience that we can vastly improve our health and life experience by tuning into this process and riding the waves rather than letting them crush us. We can make better food, exercise, business, and relationship decisions based on our connection to our daily chemical changes. Feeling connected to my natural rhythm keeps me centered, strong, focused, empowered, energetic, and confident.
It is also my belief that once we pass through menopause, we retain this rhythm and ditch the rest, settling into our bones, hearts, and minds as the wise leaders, Beautiful, Confident Queens that can rule the world.
I see our monthly rhythm as a microcosm of the way we fit into the organic pulse of the earth and our interconnected human relationships. Women are often not heard at home or in the world because our words are not our power source. Our monthly female cycle is the source that fuels our fierce core of calm strength, which in turn gives unrelenting command to our voice, individually and as a gender, yet it has virtually disappeared because we’ve not been trained to tap into it. Women today are only a shadow of the powerful, sacred feminine. Today’s society discourages and even belittles women for wanting to own their own bodies, and therefore women are not in their bodies. The womb is on the proverbial auction block going to the highest bidder at every election.
When women heal themselves by spiraling back to their center, understanding the power they possess to make the proper decisions for their health and relationships, they will begin to understand the power they possess to make the proper decisions for the larger world we live in, helping to heal the planet and our many challenges. When we regain respect for ourselves by understanding our true personal power, we reclaim respect for the global female, and the world will have no choice but to follow suit. As this momentum builds, transformation will be radical and guaranteed.
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Thanks Suzanne for putting words to a hidden and not discussed part of every woman’s life. We need to listen to our bodies and our rythmns and not be ashamed and/or embarrassed by them.
I think if we understand our rythmns better, we can explain our rythmns to our men. How can they understand if we don’t?? I know, I’ve never enjoyed my monthly cycle. I could have used this information years ago. Can’t wait to read your book.
mmmm, beautiful. Thank you for the beautiful reminder. I am excited for your book & am sure it will become a must have for us women seeking to embody the wisdom held in our bodies. And what a cool gift for young women too!
I was given the Sacred Chalice Principles about a year go, and one of them is “You are a seasonal being; accept it” 🙂
Suzanne is a beautiful person and it comes through in her writing and her speaking.
A womans monthly cycle has been talked about in code. Suzanne cracks the code in a gentle, fun manner. This information is as important to males as it is to females. Pass it on…
http://www.4seasons4weeks.com is a great web site. Read it and share it.
Dr. D
How wonderful, Suzanne, to read a small portion of what you’ve been working on for so long now. I’m so proud of you for persevering with your message, passion and wisdom for women. Your words on spot on!!!
Very intriguing concepts to consider! Thank you, Suzanne! I remember well, an incident I experienced at 19, during an unusually intense onset, of my monthly cycle. I was at work and everything was fine. Suddenly, with only a few minutes warning, extreme cramps attacked, accompanied by the blood rushing away from my face, and the feeling that I would soon faint. I was not even sure I could make it home.
As I shared with my manager, that I must leave my shift, he was incredulous! A few minutes previous, I was cheerfully enjoying both the customers and employees. Having witnessed that, he just knew, I must be faking. It took me too long, to convince him of my plight, and I barely did make it home.
Fortunately as time went on, I learned to notice the more subtle signs of my menstrual cycle onset, and preempt similar events. I think it is a wonderful vision, you have, to educate both women AND men, to the very unique and individual responses which are normal, (whether common or not,) to these female cycles. I’m excited to see the rest of your thoughts!
Suzanne,
Your book will truly open many hearts and minds!
Nicely done Suzanne. You are one articulate woman- amongst other attributes I could name.
Truely inspirational. Brought tears to my eyes to be reminded of the great power we women hold so closely, yet have forgotten. I look forward to applying the simple principles of your book to my life and reconnecting with my sacred feminine. Thank you for bringing this precious asset back into the light for all of us to see and embrace.
Suzanne has clearly touched a nerve here with this post. I’ll bet every woman has a story or ten to tell about how we kept “going 24/7 no matter what is happening with them personally.”
Suzanne, good job. Beautifully put.
At this time when women are being pressed by the corporate media to become more unhappy and out of touch with our bodies natural shapes and rhythms it’s good to hear a voice that recognizes the importance of our cycles. And we got rhythm!!!
Great to see this post on this blog! Suzanne Mathis McQueen is one of the best advocates around for women…and therefore, also for men (we’re all in this together, right?). An intelligent, creative, savvy, compassionate person and entrepreneur, she fully and enthusiastically embraces the wordl’s most positive f-word (feminism) and brings several more to mind, including formidable, forthright, and most fittingly, fantastic!
You are FABULOUS, Suzanne. Your energy is kind, friendly & compassionate; you FEEL GOOD! Thank you for sharing this beautiful, relevant & helpful material.
What a beautiful, powerful and insightful message. I am familiar with Suzanne’s work and philosophy. Her vision and passion always brings tears to my eyes- yes, I am a woman who feels deeply. I hope her books are shared by many to pass on the wisdom and education about this overlooked subject. Learning about the four seasons in four weeks is Intriguing to me because I am still not tuning into my cycle and am still embarassed about it at age 45, even though I know it’s a natural part of being a woman. Thanks to everyone out there for honoring women and standing up for our rights. And men, animals and the earth should be treated with respect too. 🙂
Too true. Thank you for this Suzanne. Beautiful. Many important thoughts that I will take to heart. These things are so important, but also so easy to forget. Thanks for keeping me thoughtful about my body and reminding me to be respectful of that which strengthens me.
Very well said, Suzanne.
At 44, I’m finally realizing that it’s not just the 3-5 days before my menstruation that I need to pay attention to. Without awareness & acceptance of my monthly & seasonal rhythms, life has become a bit of a challenge, (for both myself and my partner!).
Thanks for your insight…and can’t wait to read more.
A simple concept to grasp for all. I envy all the young teenagers who are getting this information early to plan their lives and not have to wait until the end to finally figure it all out.
Suzanne, you have tapped into the truth. For too many years women have been dragging pain bodies of fear, pain, disgust, and anger. We have been told that we are dirty and unclean, messy bags of blood, and horrendous childbearing. It is time we redicovered the Godesses within, and relearned the triumph and celebration of our cycles. When men figured out that they were involved in insemination,(who told ’em), they immediately suppressed all the old natural ways, and told us our punishment was pain and degradation. Your work goes a long way towards reclaiming our sovereignity, dignity, pride, and jubilation. Thank you
As I help guide my two daughters through menarche, I am keenly aware of how our society still keeps the topic of menstruation under wraps as something quite taboo and even shameful. Our girls need to know and find their inner power and celebrate this special time; it is up to us to help them get there by surrounding them with strong, confident women who are “comfortable in their own tampons” (so to speak!). Thank you Suzanne for your honest and thoughtful post. I have printed it out and plan on reading it to my girls tonight!
Suzanne,
Thanks for sharing your insight and I look forward to reading more. So much of dealing with some thing is understanding it. Greater understanding about a woman’s body and the wonderful God-given role women have will go a long way in eliminating confusion, fear, self-doubts, pain, and misconceptions by women and men alike. Knowledge is power!
Isn’t it amazing the degree to which we are not even aware that we have been shut down, closed out, rendered invisible and silenced. Thinking about your opening statement, “a human female …somewhere between the ages of 8 and 55-ish…cycle day in and day out for approximately 40 years of their lives”, it is brilliant and insigtful commentary that such a significant aspect of femininity and life itself can be so overlooked. Thank you, Suzanne, for bringing this essential wisdom forward. May it be the beginning of a new millennium of awareness for women and the world.
Suzanne:
You have touched so many in so many ways with your insightful observations and understanding of the depth and power we as women can tap. Your system will do wonders, I’m sure, for all the babyboomers who are entering their next phase of life, especially if they start using it now. As a post-menopausal woman, I am hoping to use the template for myself as well, even tho’ my own “cycle” is a bit different than those who are pre-menopausal.
You have created something life- and world-changing. Thank you for all you do!
Though I’m a man we have cycles and rhythms connecting with nature as well. Men experience “man-o-pause” as one obstetrician once told me. I’ve been with several women during their menopause and have experienced their “hot flashes.”
So I appreciate the work Suzanne Mathis McQueen is doing to inform and educate women about their cycles.
Suzanne….you have articulated beautifully the challenge and gift that women must embrace or lose themselves. We women are such incredible beings…thank you for reminding us of our beautifully orchestrated menstrual cycles.
I look forward to buying your book for my daughters and friends.
Jaelle Dragomir
An beautiful and insightful piece on the unseen biological forces that control our every move. You have brought it out in the open – this will provide much needed information for those of us who have “been there, done that” and to those who are following in our paths. With this information we will all be empowered and have more control over how we feel and live each and every day. Blessings…
Wow, It took me many years to capitalize on the “Female Cycle” I finally realized that if I paid attention to my partners needs during her most difficult time, Our relationship would be better. The key for me was decoding the language. I actually marked the date on the calender and made sure to reduce the load on her during ” That” time. Although most of the comments here are from women, I think men may possible learn more from this book. We are born clueless and don’t really get much further. Thank you so much for writing a book like this, I will be giving them to all my friends for Xmas..
Thank you, Suzanne, for reorienting our gaze back into our bodies’ power where it belongs. We are constantly, relentlessly bombarded with images and opinions about the least significant aspects of our femaleness, while little substantive discussion takes place about the deeper, more significant aspects of womanhood, like our monthly cycle. As this discussion takes hold it will be interesting to witness the results. Our attentions to our inner rhythms are acts of subversion! Let’s subvert, Ladies!
Bless you girl. As a man, I am looking forward to learning all that I can about the woman in my life. We have many more years together and in retirement will be spending a lot more time closer with each other. Any advice and knowledge I can pick up will make that time even better.
Suzanne,
How nice to read your eloquent, passionate and spot-on (pun intended) call on the diminished female. We need your voice to rise to our own occasion, to understand and intuit our rythms, to better respect ourselves and thus receive the respect and honor accorded us and our divine feminine.
More, please. More.
Jessica Vineyard
Promises to be a helpful book to many. Can’t wait to read it!
Very interesting stuff! I’m in my twenties so I’d like to know more (I have a long road ahead of me!). Looking forward to your book.
It’s strange to think that we’ve not been given this understanding before. Suzanne, you’ve found one of the many gaps in the matrix to fill with this insightful, illuminating expose. It just reminds me that not just women’s, but many rhythms and cycles have been disrupted, ignored, avoided, shamed and belittled. The rampant addiction to coffee and sugar is surely an attempt to stay in the productive action mode our skewed society over-values, and override the reconstructive, restoration mode we actually need. It is inhuman (mechanical) to be active and producing all day, week, month, and year, just as it is to be constantly sexual, social, outgoing, and ‘up’ during a woman’s moon cycle. The moon doesn’t do it, why should we? And aren’t all these inhuman cycle disruptions accommodations and collusions with industrial society? If Suzanne is advocating for a return to more sane and healthy acceptance of our animal rhythms aligned with the rhythms of nature, even if it means we earn less $, get less done, lose some apparent friends, and let fall away some of our own little empires to discover the long lost inner world of reverie, silence, not-doing and just being, then she is a true comrade and companion on the path back that leads forward.
Very cool that there are both men and women commenting on this post.
Interesting that I have never had any monthly emotional changes, yet my daughter has many. Where I sailed through my younger years and menopause, she feels a change of mood from “I’m cool” to “I’m really cranky, stay out of my way”. Looking forward to this book so she can maybe track her month ahead of her emotions for a smoother ride.
Ok, being a a typical male I have to admit I am not comfortable when this subject is brought up by my wife and her sister. I believe this is because we don’t have anything similar to deal with in OUR lives. We may try to understand, but I’ll be the first to admit,,,we do fall terribly short. As Robyn Parnell mentioned in her comment we’re all in this together. By reading this book,, and I WILL read this book,, I hope to gain a better understanding of what it is all of you have to go through,, thus increasing my relationship with my wife. I’m hoping to destroy the belief that “guy’s just don’t get it,,, they never listen” here’s one guy who wants to make an effort to understand.
L. Serna
Soest, Holland
Thank you for bringing attention to this!
I’m in my mid forties and notice more and more men I’m dating who are freaked out by my period. One man, in his early sixties, had never SEEN evidence of his partners’ periods – no blood on sheets, on clothing, he’d never had sex with anyone who had their period and never even really knew it was a possibility! Obviously that relationship did not last long – but as I become older, I see this more – not less. Those I’ve dated from other countries – from Argentina, even Switzerland – seem to have less of this ignorance.
I’ve also been disturbed with the concept of menstrual suppression as a freeing lifestyle choice – yikes! What a bad idea. We damage ourselves, women and men, when we come to believe that the right path is always linear, uncomplicated, straightforward. That brings a sort of violence to the process of life – trying always to control – not allowing for reflection or an unfolding.